I am a marathoner.

In less then three weeks, I’ll be running the New York City Marathon. This will be my 25th lifetime Marathon and my 10th New York.

I have always said that I will run forever.

Nothing has ever stopped me before. A torn Achilles? Nope. Stress factures? Nope. Other aches and pains and the like? Nope.

I just kept moving forward. (I did have surgery to repair the Achilles, but got right back at it afterword.)

Nothing ever stopped me… except… me.

Nothing ever stopped me, until I did. Or, better said, until I almost did.

Me?

I’m the guy who says, “Impossible is an illusion.” I’m the guy who says, “We can always do more than we think we can.” I’m the guy who thinks he can do anything. Yeah, I’m the guy who sometimes runs the marathon wearing a Superman shirt.

But, somewhere over the last year, running long became a chore. It became a huge struggle. It became a job – and not one I particularly enjoyed.

I kept saying to whoever would listen that this year’s New York City Marathon was going to be my last. Some people laughed and said, “Yeah, right.” A few said, “Sure, you’ve done a million, why keep going?” Others said, “You can’t quit after 25, you have to do at least 26 marathons, that’s too perfect.”

But one person, a dear friend named Mike, said, “This doesn’t sound anything like you, Paul.” And when he said it, the words went straight to my heart because…

He was right.

***

I’m 55-years-old. I’m not young. I feel young. I am very active. I play baseball for two over 35-baseball teams. I helped pitch one of those teams to the league championship.

I think I still do more in a day than most people do in a week, although I’m not quite sure this is true. (Bonus points to anyone who picks up on the reference there to my favorite children’s book of all-time.)

But as I runner, I was tired.

In 2022, I wanted to prove to myself that I could run every single day for an entire year. And I did. One might have thought that I’d rest a bit after that, but, I didn’t. Soon after I was training for the Pittsburgh Marathon in May of 2023.

I loved the Pittsburgh Marathon experience. I ran it with my son Ryan. We had a blast. We spent a few days in Pittsburgh. Everything was wonderful. Almost.

Everything was wonderful except the second half of the race when the hills of Pittsburgh crushed me. The second half of that race was torture. It was slow. I walked a lot. I got down on myself. I hated a lot of it. I actually retired (in my head, at least) from marathoning at least 450,000 times as I took step after torturous step.

And then, a few weeks later, I was preparing for the 2023 New York City Marathon. I have said many time that that race has become part of me. I can’t think of not running it (though I did this year). Still, I put those thoughts away and got down to business…

I had been running great, and well, and strong… that is until I would reach Mile 10, or so on a long run. At ten or so miles in, I was ready to quit. Sometimes I’d push a little bit farther, but not often enough. I found myself in a rut.

I’m not used to being in a rut.

On one hand, I reasoned that my middle-age body was just tired. On the other, I argued that this was my body telling me that my marathon days were over. I’ve been running marathons since 2002. It’s been a long time. I have to quit at some point… right?

A few weeks ago I reached out to Ryan and asked if he was able to carry me (figuratively) on a long run. I needed him to help me get over the hump and reach at least 18 miles. Ryan agreed, and last week, we covered over 19 miles in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. It was an awesome run – my best training run in years. It gave me a ton of new found confidence.

But, early today, as I talked to Mike, he said those word in regard to me quitting or giving up, “That doesn’t sound like you, Paul.” And those words rang true in my head as I set out to do my final long run in preparation of the marathon, a 20-miler, alone, to prove to myself I was ready for the big race on November 5.

Those words from Mike helped change my thinking.

“I’m not a quitter. I don’t give up on things. The harder the challenge, the stronger I get.”

“I CAN DO ANYTHING!”

And so, I set out on my 20-mile journey.

Pretty soon, or so it seemed, I was at five miles, then eight, then ten, then thirteen. The miles just kept falling away. I felt good and relaxed, confident and strong. I kept telling myself that I could get to 19 miles. Thanks to Ryan, I knew I could get that far.

And thanks to Mike, I found my old outlook on life. Impossible is an illusion.

When I ran today, I ran with confidence. I didn’t run especially fast. But I did run strong. And, before I knew it, I was passing mile 15, then 16, and then 17 miles. I knew success, a 20-miler, was just ahead up the road.

And it was. I did 20-miles today. I’m ready for the big race. And I feel better, as a runner, than I have in years.

We all fail sometimes. The road to success is never a direct line. But when we fail, that should not be a signal to quit. It should be a signal to change some things and to try again. We are only a failure if we quit trying.

The 2023 New York City Marathon will not be my last. I found some confidence that had been lacking through the help of my son and a good friend. Sometimes we can’t do it alone.

And that’s okay.

I’m glad I am ready and able to keep moving forward!